The United Kingdom of Valovian Lordships is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 497 million Valovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maria. The average income tax rate is 43.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Valovian economy, worth 38.3 trillion Virons a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,107 Virons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims, obstetricians are not allowed to publish ultrasound pictures of fetuses in medical journals, doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality, and living well is no longer the best kind of revenge. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valovian Lordships's national animal is the Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Valovian Lordships is ranked 122,525^th in the world and 436^th in Carcassonne for Safest, scoring 72.1 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.